We frequently get couples come to us and ask about getting that elusive couple position together. Sometimes we can help, more often than not we can’t. Of course, we completely understand the thought process behind this. You want to be with the person you love.
In the spirit of complete transparency, choosing to join a yacht with your partner could damage your yachting career in the long term.
When I hear the phrase ‘looking for something with my partner’, it makes me sigh with a little frustration, and not because I’m heartless (I love a good love story as much as the next person), but because there are a few downsides.
Firstly, they are rare; secondly, it just isn’t realistic, especially for junior-level crew; and thirdly, taking a couples’ role can be counter-productive for your forward progression.
Think about the following scenario, for example – An experienced Deckhand or Stew on an impressive career trajectory with endless opportunities shoots down an incredible program with all the bells and whistles because the yacht is not couple-friendly.
From a yachting career perspective, this decision can be damaging for several reasons:
1) Limited career choices
By focusing on finding positions as a couple, you are massively limiting the roles and even vessels that you can apply for. Statistically, your chances of finding work are much, much lower.
You’re also making quite the assumption that both you and your partner match the criteria, have good references, and actually, most importantly, both want the same things from your next boat and long-term careers.
Instead of seeking the best job for your individual skills and aspirations, you might end up settling for positions that allow you to stay together, which can then stunt your professional development – or at least for one of you.
Not to mention that a lot of yachts may not be open to hiring couples, so you’re then missing out on promising roles that could accelerate your yachting career.
2) Less skill development
It is often the case that one partner compromises by taking a role below their skill level / experience. This can be a source of frustration as they have less responsibility, less opportunity in the future to take on further responsibility, less money, their CV is damaged e.g., ‘why did you step back from Bosun to Deckhand after 4 years in the industry?’
3) Constant compromise
Preferences change, plans change and goals change. Success isn’t linear, and you never know where that next curve ball will come from.
Perhaps your partner is looking for ‘room for progression’ but you need something where you’ll gain sea time towards your OOW. What’s the solution? How do you navigate compromising your career goals and who takes priority?
This can cause direct conflicts in a relationship mixed in with the added stress of mid-season chaos, and bam, before you know it, you’re back on Yotspot with a short stint on your CV and a ropey reference (or back on Tinder, depending which relationship suffered the most).
4) Relationship troubles
It’s no surprise that personal relationships can affect the culture onboard – anyone who has worked onboard has witnessed some kind of couple crew drama that’s ruined the vibe.
This does ultimately impact the crew as a whole, which is never going to end well, and could potentially damage your reputation and employability prospects later down the line. Living onboard a boat is tough enough but doing that with a partner who you may not have lived with before is a lot of pressure for any relationship.
5) Getting ‘stuck’
There’s nothing worse than starting to feel stagnant or stuck somewhere you know isn’t right in the long-term. If you are in a stable couple role, it can be very hard to leave as a couple. If it’s stable, the temptation is to stay, when it could be damaging your career prospects and you end up spending 3 years on a single season yacht in the South of France which does very little and you get little exposure to Operations.
That said, those dreamy couples’ roles do exist – those unicorns do come along and start shooting rainbows every now and again. But my advice is always this – apply for the position that matches your values, aligns with where you’re at now, but also where you’re going.
Prioritise training, culture, sea time (deck) and the position itself and, if it also happens to be a couples’ role, then HAPPY DAYS. If it isn’t, but ticks everything else, be pragmatic and find a solution. Yachting career longevity is super important – but what is two years out of a lifetime together?
Caveat, we’ve also seen literally dozens and dozens of couples make career sacrifices and compromise yachting career longevity only to split up with their partner. So, if you are making huge sacrifices, make sure they are the one, and just as importantly they view you the same way. Sometimes 6 months apart really demonstrates whether it is the right relationship for you.
If you’d like some further guidance regarding next steps in your yachting career, get in touch.
